I Bombed my Race…But…

This is going to be a slightly personal post, so please excuse the swearing.

I fucking bombed the race I had been preparing for for almost 6 months….and I’m fucking furious….but I still trust my coach…

I made the decision to invest in myself and my running by hiring a running coach. Even coaches need coaches to meet their goals (if you ever come across a coach who isn’t willing to learn from someone more experienced than they are; run away), so I hired a great running coach in December to help me get faster. My ultimate goal was to run a sub 2 hour half marathon. Seems fairly easy, but I had NEVER trained for a half – only full marathons – so this was a new endeavor. If I went back to the beginning of my running career, I would have swapped running faster for running farther to start.

I have gotten a LOT stronger and faster – I’m easily knocking out 8:00 – 8:30 splits on my speed work days, and my overall volume has drastically increased. I am stronger, faster, and more capable than I have ever felt before. Everything on paper said I should have been able to SLAY a half marathon…except I didn’t.

I looked at the weather, and it was going to be a bit warmer than what Santa Barbara has delivered over the past few months. I was hydrated, rested, and well fed on race day, so I thought I was going to be OK. I went out and was knocking out pretty perfect 8:35 splits until I hit mile 7 when things started to feel weird….I stopped sweating, I had goosebumps, I was freezing…even though it was in the low 70’s. It was a classic case of overheating. Utter meltdown ensued and my splits dropped to over 10 minutes/mile.

I knew I was in trouble, but I also knew I could cause longer term damage if I “Pushed Through” and pretended that “pain was weakness leaving the body” (a one liner that will certainly get you thrown out of Alaris), so I backed off and stumbled into the finish at 2:13 (granted, the course was also a half mile longer than a half marathon). Around mile 10 I knew it was over…I wasn’t going to hit sub 2 hour, or even get a PR. I was screwed. I wanted to DNF (aka: Did Not Finish), but I knew I had to set an example and get that shit done whether I wanted to or not. BTW – it was 75 fucking degrees at the finish line.

You see, even if you work with a coach, shit isn’t always going to go as planned. Sometimes you get a totally crappy day like Saturday morning in Danville, CA and you plans dissolve right before your eyes. I told my coach that I really wanted to run another half in the next few days (on my own) to prove to myself that I could do this….She told me that it wouldn’t do me any good. I was in good shape, and that I needed to focus on my next race.

Again, I was pissed and wanted to defy her and go run a half. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this. But then I was reminded by my husband that I would expect my clients to listen to me. She’s my coach and she knows me well enough to know what I should and shouldn’t be doing because she’s been tracking my progress. She knows I am capable, but I also have a different race in just 10 weeks that we have to prepare for.

So today (Monday) I did my 30 minute run as prescribed, and tomorrow I’ll do my 40 minute run as prescribed because I trust my coach. Because that’s what I would want from my clients;

so I had to literally swallow my pride to set the example I expect. I fully trust my coach – I hired her for her exceptional experience and kind approach, so I’m going to show her the respect the process deserved by not undermining her direction,

It super sucks but my mantra has been: Be Kind. Do the Work. Trust the Process. So I’m going to trust the process.